Zeta One (1969)

Zeta One (released in the US as The Love Factor) is a 1969 science fiction/spy spoof/sex comedy from Tigon British Film Productions. This was around the time when there were finally signs that the draconian British film censorship might start loosening up a little. That was indeed about to happen but Zeta One came maybe a year too early and it was cut pieces by the puritanical British censors.

Happily the cuts have since been restored for both the US Jezebel Blu-Ray release and the British Blu-Ray release (as part of the Saucy 70s boxed set) by 88 Films.

We’re introduced to British spy James Word (Robin Hawdon). He doesn’t seem to be the most competent of spies. HIs false moustache keeps falling off. He has arrived home to find Ann Olsen (Yutte Stensgaard) in his flat. She is W’s secretary, W being the head of the intelligence service for which James works. Ann persuades James to tell her about his latest case. What James doesn’t know is that Ann is an Angvian agent.

James would prefer to do other things. Ann suggests a game of strip poker, with the winner having the right to choose what the two of them will do next. The strip poker game is just an excuse to have Yutte Stensgaard take her clothes off, but since this is Yutte Stensgaard (best known for Hammer’s infamous 1971 Lust for a Vampire) we’re talking about I don’t think any viewers are likely to complain.

It all started with suspicions that Major Bourdon (James Robertson Justice) and his assistant Swyne (Charles Hawtrey) might be up to something. They are indeed, but it’s not just plain ordinary espionage. It has to do with the women of Angvia. James isn’t sure where Angvia is. It might be in space, it might be on a distant planet, it might be on Earth but in another dimension. The women of Angvia don’t have any men.

Major Bourdon seems to have some plan to take over Angvia. His plans are not all that clear but what is clear is that he’s a diabolical criminal mastermind of some sort. James Word’s mission is to thwart Bourdon’s plans and also to find out what those Angvian women are planning.

What is known is that the Angvians are kidnapping young beautiful women from Earth. Their latest target is stripper Edwina 'Ted' Strain (Wendy Lingham).

Edwina ends up in the hands of Major Bourdon. The major is not averse to using torture to persuade young ladies to coöperate. He wants her help in order to infiltrate the Angvians.

There’s plenty of action as various Angvian women are captured and attempt to escape. It culminates with a surreal comic-book style battle scene between Bourdon’s men and the women warriors of Angvia. And then there’s a postscript. James Word now knows far too much about Angvia. He cannot be allowed to reveal this information to anyone. The Angvians have no intention of killing him. They have other plans for him.

The violence is all very much comic-book style stuff. Even the torture scenes have that feel and as a result they’re not the least bit horrifying, nor are they meant to be. This movie is a good-natured romp.

The BBFC apparently cut most of the nudity and that would have been quite a problem. If you cut all the nude scenes from this movie you’re going to end up with a very short movie that is not going to make a lick of sense.

Perhaps Tigon were being a bit ambitious for 1969. There is a great deal of nudity and there’s even some frontal nudity. Perhaps they should have realised that they just weren’t going to get away with that in 1969.

The main problem with this movie is that when director Michael Cort finished it it had a running time of just over 60 minutes, mainly because the script really only provides enough of a story for an hour-long movie. Tigon therefore hired Vernon Sewell to shoot additional footage, which results in a movie with definite pacing problems. Although it would have been unreleasable at 60 minutes that original shorter version was probably a better film. The original material shot by Michael Cort is much more interesting.

What’s interesting is that while it might seem like a kind of sex comedy this movie bears no resemblance whatsoever to 1970s British sex comedies such as the Adventures of movies and the Confessions movies. In fact it doesn’t really feel particularly British. It has much more of a European vibe. It seems more influenced by European comics for adults and European movies based on those comics. Imagine a cross between Barbarella and Mario Bava’s Danger: Diabolik but with a lot more nudity and you’re getting closer to describing the feel of this movie. It also has a bit of a John Willie fetish vibe. Some of the costumes would not have been out place in Just Jaeckin’s Gwendoline, based on Willie’s comic.

It’s silly and goofy but it’s also surreal and crazy. There are also moments which are clearly influenced by the psychedelic freak-out movies that were in vogue in the 60s. Visually it’s pleasingly oddball. Zeta One has some major flaws but the fact that it’s so totally unlike other British movies of its era, and that it has such an odd feel to it, make it worth watching. It’s possibly the most successful British attempt to achieve a comic-book feel. The plot incoherence adds to its charm. Highly recommended.