Picasso Trigger (1988)

Picasso Trigger is an Andy Sidaris movie and a fairly typical Andy Sidaris movie. If you enjoy schlocky low-budget 80s action movies with plenty of T&A you’ll have fun with it. If you don’t enjoy such movies you won’t like it.

And when I say Sidaris’s movies are schlock I’m not kidding. They’re like a double serving of shlock with extra schlockiness sprinkled on top.

This one is a sequel of sorts to Sidaris’s wonderful Hard Ticket to Hawaii (1987). The two glamour babe federal agents from that movie, Donna (Dona Speir) and Taryn (Hope Marie Carlton), are back and they’re now targets for assassination.

The hero is yet another member of the Abilene clan. We’ve met Cody and Rowdy Abilene in earlier Sidaris movies. This time it’s Travis Abilene. Of course our first thought is, will this Abilene actually be able to shoot? The incompetent marksmanship of the Abilenes was a running gag in these 80s Sidaris movies. It turns out that Travis Abilene also can’t shoot worth a damn.

It’s an amusing gimmick which gives an otherwise impossibly handsome and brave hero a human weakness.

This movie starts with a major crime kingpin apparently assassinating all the federal agents whom he blames for his brother’s death (his brother having also been a crime kingpin).

Travis Abilene acquires a sidekick, the sexy and glamorous Pantera (Roberta Vasquez). Travis and Pantera had been sweethearts back in high school. It doesn’t take long for the sexual attraction between them to blaze up again.

It gradually becomes apparent that the chief bad guy has another agenda in addition to revenge. The plot is complicated with lots of double-crosses. It doesn’t make a whole lot of sense but it provides plenty of opportunities for acton scenes.

This is the standard Andy Sidaris formula. It was shot in glamorous exotic locations such as Las Vegas and Hawaii. Sidaris believed (correctly) that this was a good way to make very low budget movie look more expensive than it was. There’s lots of gunplay. There are plenty of explosions. There are gadgets. There are chases involving everything from helicopters to speedboats to surf skis to hovercraft. There are lots of bare breasts and a few bare bottoms. It’s fast-paced and silly and fun. The formula worked for Sidaris and it works for me.

The acting is OK for a movie that doesn’t exactly have much in the way of in-depth characterisation. It doesn’t have any characterisation at all. What matters is that the heroes look like heroes, the villains look like villains and the mindless thugs look like mindless thugs.

Pretty much every female cast member was a former Playboy Playmate. They’re not great actresses but they weren’t cast for their acting abilities. They’re there to look like glamorous babes and they do that very successfully. What’s nice about these early Sidaris movies is that the girls don’t look like walking advertisements for silicone. They rely on what Nature gave them and that proves to be more than ample.

The nudity serves the same purpose as everything else in the movie - it’s there quite frankly for entertainment value. And it’s approached in the same spirit as everything else in the movie - lighthearted and cheerful and rather innocent. There’s none of the embarrassed sniggering quality to the sex and nudity that you encounter in too many movies. Picasso Trigger is sexy but it’s not really sleazy.

The gadgets are typically Sidaris - amusing and clever and they cost almost nothing. The stuntwork is reasonably good.

It has to be admitted that this movie does not quite recapture the magic of Hard Ticket to Hawaii. It doesn’t quite have the same zing.

Picasso Trigger is still a lot of fun. That’s all it was ever intended to be. Make sure you have lots of beer and popcorn on hand. If you’re in the mood for fun it’s highly recommended.

The DVD in the Mill Creek boxed set offers a lovely transfer. The most notable extra is an audio commentary by writer-director Andy Sidaris and his wife Arlene(who was the producer). Their audio commentaries are always a treat.

I've also reviewed Hard Ticket to Hawaii (1987) and Malibu Express (1985).