Bolero (1984)

OK, let’s talk about Bo Derek and Bolero (released in 1984). Critics at the time and almost all online reviewers today will tell you that it’s an awful movie and that she was a terrible actress.

In fact the critics were wrong as usual and sadly most online reviewers assume that this is a bad movie before seeing it. They had already decided that this was an opportunity to indulge in some cheap snark.

The fact is that Bolero is an erotic fantasy romance. This is a kind of movie that frightens mainstream audiences and by the 80s mainstream critics (who praised such movies to the skies in the 70s) had decided that they strongly disapproved of such movies. If you want to enjoy Bolero you have to accept that yes it is an erotic movie.

I shared most of these prejudices before deciding that perhaps I should take another look at the film. I also shared the disdain for Bo Derek until I saw her in Tarzan the Ape Man (1981). Watching her in that I found myself realising that she was actually pretty good. She was giving exactly the performance that was required. It was also the performance that her director, John Dekek (who was also her husband, something else that enraged critics), wanted. She was doing what actresses get paid to do.

Bo Derek is just one in the long line of actresses from the 70s to the 90s who were targeted for career destruction by critics.

Which brings us to Bolero. It is the 1920s. Ayre MacGillvary (Bo Derek) has just graduated from college and has inherited an immense fortune. Now she wants adventure. The first step is to lose her virginity. But she’s a romantic girl and she has seen all of Rudolph Valentino’s movies and she wants the experience to be special. She wants Valentino as the Sheikh to carry her off into the sands of the desert on his horse.

Reality doesn’t always match our dreams. She finds her sheikh and he is handsome and he is a real sheikh but he’s a poetry-writing Oxford graduate and carrying her off on his horse is a problem. He isn’t good with horses. He’s scared of them.

Next up she decides to go to Spain to find a handsome matador. Like Valentino in Blood and Sand.

She finds her matador, Angel Sacristan (Andrea Occhipinti), but he’s also not quite what one might expect. He’s the least popular matador in the country because he never kills the bull. So if you’re worried there’s going to be animal cruelty in this movie I can set your mind at rest. There isn’t any. No bulls are killed. No bulls are injured. For Angel bullfighting is simply a test of skill and courage.

Ayre may have found her dream but there’s Angel’s crazy gypsy girlfriend who vows to kill any woman who steals her man.

And then there’s an accident. Not a fatal one, but it’s a blow to poor Ayre’s dreams.

Among other things this is a movie about women’s sexual fantasies and being a woman Ayre’s fantasies are as much about love as they are about sex. This is a very very romantic movie.

It’s also an homage to silent cinema. Ayre doesn’t just want a man. She wants the kind of romantic hero she has seen in the movies.

It also features sex scenes that are quite explicit for a mainstream Hollywood movie, and a lot of nudity. This was reason enough for many critics to dismiss it out of hand.

It is an erotic movie but it’s an erotic romance movie and it’s a slightly offbeat movie as well.

Don’t worry about whether it gets any of the period details right. This is a total fantasy, inspired by the world of silent cinema rather than the actual world of the 1920s. For the same reason don’t fret too much about any implausibilities in the plot.

I enjoyed Bolero quite a bit and I highly recommend it as pure romantic fantasy.

I saw this movie on a very poor quality DVD years ago. Seeing it now on Blu-Ray is a revelation. It looks great.

Santo vs Evil Brain (1961)

While there had been quite a few Mexican wrestler movies made in the 1950s Santo vs Evil Brain (Santo contra cerebro del mal) was the first actual Santo movie. It was shot (back-to-back with Santo vs Infernal Men) in Cuba in 1959 but not released until 1961.

The movie begins with a silver-masked man (who is in fact Santo) being beaten up and kidnapped by some hoodlums. He is hypnotised and forced to do the bidding of the bad guys.

Later we will meet another masked man (with a black mask) and the two masked men seem to be allies. We discover that they work unofficially for the police.

There have been a number of kidnappings of scientists and the police fear that the brilliant Dr Campos (Joaquín Cordero) will be the next target. A banker is also kidnapped.

The police provide protection for Dr Campos but it may not be enough. 

The next kidnap victim is Elisa (Norma Suárez), the girlfriend of Dr Campos’s assistant Gerardo (Alberto Inzúa). Gerardo tells the police that he is puzzled by this. If the kidnappers are trying to get their hands on Dr Campos’s latest discovery then he, Gerardo, would have been a more obvious target.

The black-masked man sets out to rescue his silver-masked comrade.

While this is going on we find out that the men who kidnapped Santo were part of a spy ring.

The plot meanders around for quite a while as the police hunt the spy gang but we still have no idea what is really going on. Eventually we get a moderately exciting action climax.

If you’ve seen any of the later Santo movies you’re going to be very disappointed by Santo vs Evil Brain which sadly fails to live up to is promising title.

Part of the problem is that the Santo movie formula had not yet been perfected and in fact only exists in embryo in this movie. There is no wrestling in this movie and no real indication that the masked men even are wrestlers. In this film Santo is pretty ineffectual and has no personality whatsoever. He’s actually overshadowed by his black-masked colleague but neither of them could be described as particularly heroic or formidable.

The chief villain isn’t really sufficiently colourful or menacing and his motivations are unclear. We don’t get to know Elisa well enough to care about her fate.

The plot is chaotic. We find out why scientists are being snatched but why the banker? They use him to carry out a bank robbery but that is just a needless distraction from the central espionage plot.

The fight scenes are a bit uninspired.

Although the movie runs for just 72 minutes it still drags. It never develops any real impetus.

The location shooting in Havana is some compensation. The shoot was rather eventful, with the crew escaping from the city just hours before Castro’s army arrived.

While it has considerable historical interest for hardcore Santo fans who will be pleased that Powerhouse Indicator have released these first two Santo movies on Blu-Ray (in very nice transfers) it has to be said that Santo vs Evil Brain is really a rather bad movie. Recommended only for Santo completists.

I’ve reviewed several other Santo movies that are a whole lot better. Santo vs The Zombies (1962) is a much better place to start if you’re a Santo novice. The Santo formula was really starting to fall into place by this time. Santo in the Wax Museum (1963) and Santo & Blue Demon vs. Doctor Frankenstein (1974) are also highly recommended.

Angel’s Egg (1985)

Angel’s Egg is a 1985 anime OVA written and directed by Mamoru Oshii. 

It was devised by Mamoru Oshii and Yoshitaka Amano.

Whether it’s fantasy or horror or science fiction I can’t tell you because I don’t know. Maybe it's all three.

Or maybe it's something else entirely. 

It could certainly be described as art-house anime.

It was not a financial success and it stalled Oshii’s career for several years.

It begins with a young girl and a large egg. She feels that she must protect the egg.

She wanders through an apparently deserted city. It looks like a medieval European city but we will soon come to have doubts about the nature of this city. It may have been subjected to some calamity, possibly war or a plague.

It feels like a fantasy movie but then fairly on the machines arrive. Assuming that they’re machines.

The girl encounters a young man. He might be a wandering soldier or even a wandering knight. He seems determined to be her protector. He carries a weapon which looks slightly machine-like.

The girl is unsure about him but he has become her shadow.

He tells her about a bird he once saw. He asks her what is in the egg. She either won’t tell him or doesn’t know.

There is very little dialogue in this movie and very little plot. It’s a succession of images and moods.Striking, moody, disturbing images but disturbing in a subtle way. Everything is slightly off-kilter.

There are no clear delineations. Where does the water end and the city begin? Is this a city of the living or the dead? There are ruins, or are they skeletal remains of creatures or of machines, or even of gods? Is the man’s weapon a gun or a sword? Is he the girl’s protector or her enemy? Is he human or non-human? Are the girl and the man alive or dead? Are they real? And the fishes. What on earth are they?

Is this a dream or a vision? Is this another planet, or some distorted version of Earth or an entirely imaginary non-real world?

The egg might be the egg of a living creature or of a god or it might be something else entirely.

Asking what this movie means is probably to miss the point. It’s almost as if Mamoru Oshii has conjured up a movie from his dreamworld and is now asking the viewer what it means because he isn’t sure either.

This sounds very arty and very philosophical and possibly mystical and it is all of those things. It has been interpreted as having some Christian significance since many people believe that Oshii was at one time training to be a Christian priest. This appears to be a misunderstanding. He has stated that he had a considerable interest in Christianity but never was training to be a priest. He does know his Bible but he is also interested in religion and mythology in general. Perhaps in Angel’s Egg he is trying to create his own personal mythology.

As for the ending, you’ll have to decide for yourself about that.

The images are as stunning and extraordinary as you would expect given the involvement of Yoshitaka Amano.

Umbrella’s Blu-Ray release (the 4K disc is included as well) looks terrific.

Angel’s Egg is hypnotic and puzzling and if you like plot or character-driven stories this may not be for you. But if you hypnotic and puzzling stories then it’s highly recommended.

Timebomb (1991)

Timebomb is a 1991 action movie with some major science fiction elements. It might be more accurate to describe it as a techno thriller. 

It was written and directed by Avi Nesher.

Eddy Kay (Michael Biehn) is a quiet inoffensive watchmaker who happens to rescue a woman trapped in a burning building. The story makes the TV news and seeing Eddy Kay is quite a shock to Colonel Taylor (Richard Jordan). Eddy Kay is dead.

Taylor works for one of those rather sinister covert agencies. If Eddy Kay is alive that could cause problems. It is important to make this problem go away. One of the agency’s top assassins is sent to carry out the assignment.

The odd thing is that Eddy survives. That’s odd because the assassin is a pro. No ordinary guy has the survival skills to get out of such a situation alive. But Eddy does survive.

Eddy has met a nice young woman, Dr Anna Nolmar (Patsy Kensit). He’s repairing an antique watch for her. She’s a psychotherapist. 

Eddy has been having odd and very disturbing flashbacks but they’re not really flashbacks because these are memories of things that never happened to him. At least he’s pretty sure they never happened.

Anna is interested, especially when she runs some tests. The brain scans come back normal, or at least mostly normal. There does appear to be very slight damage to the hippocampus.

And then all hell breaks loose. Eddy knows that people are definitely trying to kill him but he doesn’t know why, and he doesn’t know how he keeps surviving.

If only he knew what those flashbacks meant.

Anna is along for the ride whether she likes it or not and she can’t decide if she’s terrified of Eddy or wants to mother him.

An enormous amount of mayhem follows and the violence gets quite brutal. Lots of innocent bystanders get caught in the crossfire. There are some very bad people involved and they have no moral scruples. This movie doesn’t pull its punches in that respect.

The pacing is frenetic and the action scenes are well-mounted and exciting and pleasingly excessive.

This seems like it’s going to be a standard paranoia action movie but there’s a major science fiction element that gradually comes to the fore. And the movie starts to get wilder and as it gets wilder it gets better.

Apparently the producers wanted either Jean-Claude Van Damme or Chuck Norris as Eddy but while Van Damme might have worked Michael Biehn is a much better choice because he’s a less obvious action hero and he’s more convincing as a regular fairly nice guy who is not only confused but a bit frightened. He still does cool action hero stuff (in fact lots of it) but we believe that he’s only doing it in order to survive, and to save the girl.

Patsy Kensit is likeable and believable even if she’s a bit young to be a top-flight psychotherapist.

There’s some frontal nudity and a surprisingly explicit sex scene.

There’s a thematic link to a much better known earlier movie but to tell you the name of that movie would reveal a spoiler.

The visuals are quite impressive with some cool sets and this is the pre-CGI era so the special effects guys had to rely on imagination instead.

Timebomb had a limited theatrical release so it’s not quite a direct-to-video production. It attracted little attention at the time but has since deservedly gained a strong cult following.

Timebomb is a crazy ride and it’s highly recommended. And it looks great on Blu-Ray.

Crash (1996)

David Cronenberg’s 1996 movie Crash, shot in Toronto, is based on J.G. Ballard’s 1973 book.

The movie starts with a car crash. James Ballard (James Spader) is involved in a crash in which a man is killed. The man’s wife Dr Helen Remington (Holly Hunter) survives.

Ballard and Helen are soon involved in a sexual relationship, the sexual electricity coming from their shared car crash experience.

They both notice something odd. After their crash there seems to be a lot more traffic on the roads.

Ballard meets Vaughan (Elias Koteas), a man obsessed by car crashes, and gets drawn into a strange circle of car crash enthusiasts. It’s not a cult but it is an obsession and it’s a sexual fetish. If driving a car is a sexual act then a car crash is the ultimate orgasm.

Ballard’s wife Catherine (Deborah Kara Unger) is drawn in as well.

Vaughan recreates famous car crashes such as the James Dean crash. Despite the use of stunt drivers it’s very very dangerous, which is why it’s exciting.

Gabrielle (Rosanna Arquette), one of Vaughan’s little circle, suffered such severe injuries in a car crash and has so many metal prosthetics that she seems almost cyborg-like. Ballard enjoys having sex with her because it’s almost like having sex with a machine-woman.

Ballard is being more deeply drawn in and Vaughan is becoming increasingly obsessed. It’s as if his 1963 Lincoln Continental convertible is now an extension of his body, or perhaps his body is now part of the machine.

These people are all discovering that they cannot get real sexual pleasure unless the sex act is linked with cars and car crashes.

All these people are strange to start with. There’s something oddly disconnected about them. It’s not like being involved in a car crash suddenly changes their lives. The car crashes just bring things into focus for them. Suddenly their sense of disconnectedness makes sense to them.

There are obvious thematic links to Cronenberg’s earlier Videodrome. That whole Long Live the New Flesh thing. In Crash as in Videodrome we see the birth of almost a new species with people radically changed by their interface with technology and machines. Their emotions are different. Their sexuality is entirely different and cannot be understood in terms of any of the traditional classifications. The body and the machine are one. When characters have sex in a car (which they frequently do in this movie) it’s not a man and a woman having sex. It’s a threesome with the car being the other partner. The car is not just a convenient place in which to have sex. The car is the essential element.

It would be a mistake to see this a psycho-sexual thriller or a psycho-sexual drama. It’s not really a psychological movie at all. It’s not exploring the psychology of the characters nor is it concerned with society in a straightforward way. It’s more of a philosophical movie. Cronenberg thought of it as an existentialist movie.

This is a science fiction movie and it could even qualify as cyberpunk. In fact I do consider it to be cyberpunk. Cyberpunk concerns itself with the interface between humans and machines and the effect that has on our humanness and Crash explores similar territory. Cyberpunk usually focuses on AIs and robots but when Ballard wrote his book in 1973 the internet, AIs and personal computers were not even thought of. Ballard focuses on cars instead.

Cronenberg maintains this focus and it’s interesting that there is not a single computer in the movie. Which I’m sure is deliberate. Ballard’s idea of cars and freeways modifying our bodies and our behaviour and our sexuality still worked in 1996 and it still works today.

The fact that it’s cars rather than robots gives the human-machine interface a more visceral edge, cars being more brutally machine-like and more obviously dangerous while at the same time being part of everyday life that we take for granted.

This is the sort of thing that suits James Spader perfectly so it’s no surprise that he’s excellent. Elias Koteas is effectively disturbing as Vaughan. Rosanna Arquette is terrific. I especially loved Deborah Kara Unger as Catherine Ballard. She’s so detached and disconnected which is exactly right for the part.

All the performances work because they’re all slightly cold and disengaged.

The visuals have a starkness which works extremely well. We really do feel that this is a world that is no longer quite the familiar world. It’s just subtly wrong.

Crash was hugely controversial. In terms of explicit content it’s very tame but the ideas upset some sensitive souls. J.G. Ballard loved the movie.

Crash is Cronenberg at his best. Very highly recommended.

The Criterion Blu-Ray includes an excellent audio commentary by Cronenberg. Cronenberg insists that he has zero interest in political messaging which increases my admiration for him considerably.

Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai Across the 8th Dimension (1984)

The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai Across the 8th Dimension was released in 1984. It was a spectacular box-office flop. It’s not hard to see why. It’s uber-geeky in a way that gave it no appeal whatsoever to mainstream audiences. It tries so hard to be cool and hip and edgy and clever that it becomes embarrassing. 

It wasn’t based on a comic book but it tries very hard to look like it was.

It’s an example of a film that was clearly made without any thought as to what the target audience was going to be. The budget was $17 million which was ridiculous for a movie that was only ever going to appeal to a tiny cult audience.

Buckaroo Banzai (Peter Weller) is a kind of 80s Doc Savage - an all-round genius and superhero. He’s a top neurosurgeon and a brilliant particle physicist and he’s just incredibly good at everything.

The plot is complicated. Buckaroo Banzai has designed a jet car with which he wants to break the dimension barrier. He succeeds, after driving the car straight through a mountain.

There are space aliens from another planet or maybe they’re from another dimension. There are two warring factions among the aliens.

The saga really began in the 1930s, with an earlier attempt to break the dimension barrier. And with space aliens landing in New Jersey where they brainwashed Orson Welles.

There’s a mad scientist, Dr Emilio Lizardo (John Lithgow) locked up in a mental hospital but he escapes and is out for revenge and he also wants to break the dimension barrier.

All of the aliens are named John.

Penny Priddy (Ellen Barkin) gets mixed up in all this when she catches Buckaroo’s nightclub act. Yes, he has a band as well. They’re musicians and also scientists and junior-grade super-heroes. Penny reminds Buckaroo of his late wife.

Penny ends up in lots of trouble with the aliens and of course she ends up being held captive. There’s lots of running around. There are fistfights and gunfights. The aliens look human unless you have a special device that allows you to see their true form. Buckaroo has of course invented such a device.

The plot spins more and more out of control.

That’s not necessarily a huge problem. This is trying to be madcap comic book-style science fiction adventure romp and it doesn’t need to make any actual sense.

This is a movie that really isn’t sure what it’s trying to do. Is it trying to be a spoof? Maybe a spoof of geek culture? In any case it isn’t the least bit funny.

A major weakness is the casting. Peter Weller simply does not have the necessary charisma. The supporting cast includes Jeff Goldblum who would have been a far better choice to play Buckaroo.

John Lithgow yells and babbles a lot. It becomes very tiresome very quickly.

Ellen Barkin is OK but her part is disastrously underwritten and she and Peter Weller have no chemistry at all.

The special effects are very crude but almost certainly deliberately so and deliberately meant to be jokey. This film is pushing very hard for a comic-strip feel and it does succeed in that aim. The visuals are crazy and goofy but fun and they’re what I like most.

Despite its egregious flaws I couldn’t bring myself to actively dislike it. It fails in an entertaining very 80s way. It’s an oddity but if you have copious quantities of beer and popcorn on hand you might enjoy it. Imagine Earth Girls Are Easy without the laughs.

It looks nice on Blu-Ray.

Leviathan (1989)

Leviathan, directed by George P. Cosmatos and released in 1989, was part of the “terror in the deep” science fiction-horror sub-genre that flourished briefly around that time. 

It came out the same year as DeepStar Six (1989) and it has to be said that DeepStar Six is by far the better movie.

Leviathan is an Alien rip-off and it doesn’t even pretend to be anything else. If you’ve always wanted to see an Alien rip-off but set underwater then this is your movie. OK, there are elements borrowed from other movies such as The Thing but the core of this movie is Alien.

Leviathan was an Italo-American co-production, shot mostly in Italy.

The action takes place in a mining facility known as Shack 7, deep beneath the sea. Really deep. As in 16,000 feet deep.

Geologist Steven Beck (Peter Weller) is in charge. He’s not sure if he’s suited to being in command and his crew isn’t sure either. The crew of eight is the collection of misfits you expect in a movie like this. They have three days of a three-month contract to go and they really are fed up and there is some tension.

They have super high tech diving suits that are more like miniature diving vessels than conventional diving suits.

One crew members falls off an underwater cliff. He survives, and makes an extraordinary discovery. It’s a wrecked ship. The name of the ship is Leviathan and it’s obviously Russian. He salvages a chest from the wreck and that turns out to be a big mistake.

The surprise comes when the crew of Shack 7 do a computer check. The Russians are adamant that the Leviathan has not been lost at sea, and in fact there should be no wrecked ships of any kind in this vicinity.

There’s something else odd that suggests something surprising about the ship’s fate.

Of course there is something very very bad aboard that wrecked ship.

Beck has been in contact with his boss on the surface. We know as soon as she opens her mouth that we are dealing with an Evil Girlboss who would sell her own mother down the river to advance her career.

Soon the crew of Shack 7 find themselves confronting unthinkable horrors, and being trapped in an undersea complex with unthinkable horrors is no fun at all.

While, unlike Alien, it doesn’t have the input of the visual genius of H.R. Giger it still looks reasonably impressive. The undersea mining complex looks high tech but just a bit grungy. Wisely this is not overdone. Shack 7 doesn’t look like a scrap heap, it just looks like a place where people actually live and work. It’s not brightly lit but the shadows and darkness are not overdone.

The special effects are serviceable enough. The diving suits are very cool.

It’s meant to be exciting and scary, and it is. It’s a scary movie where people are trapped and cannot escape and that’s usually an effective trope. And they don’t fully comprehend the nature and extent of the threat.

It’s generally well-executed and well-acted. Leviathan is more of an old-fashioned drive-in movie than an 80s blockbuster and perhaps critics expected too much of it. It does what it sets out to do and does it pretty well. And personally I love underwater adventures and thrillers. Recommended.

Leviathan looks good on Blu-Ray.

I’ve also reviewed DeepStar Six (1989).

I’ve reviewed other George P. Cosmatos movies and they’re a mixed bag but generally enjoyable. The Cassandra Crossing (1976) and Escape to Athena (1979) have an off-kilter charm and Cobra (1986) is of course a masterpiece.